Being 23 is already hard enough, now I’m meant to have the ‘ultimate summer’ too

I love summer. The sun, picnics in the park, drinks in the garden, and feeling my mood lift when the evenings get longer.

But this year, I can’t help but feel the pressure too.

In an age of ‘optimisation’ (thank you Steven Bartlett), Gen Z-ers like me have been introduced to ‘summermaxxing’, the idea that, for the next few months, you must live life to fullest, or regret it when winter comes.

As such, my feed is flooded with Euro summer packing videos, girls hopping between Greek islands, and influencers encouraging us to ‘take a break from your job to focus on summer’.

From going on holiday and attending gigs and festivals, to spending time outdoors with friends, the message is clear: do not let these months pass by without event.

Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications.

Even my own mum told me this week that I’d been ‘stuck inside’, despite having returned from a girls’ trip just two days earlier. I also work a full-time job, and my bosses have yet to move the office outside.

She meant no harm, of course, but it tapped into that feeling that I was wasting my days away.

Psychotherapist Dr Olena Edwards-Skadowska says that this year, summer is in danger of becoming ‘a performance rather than a pleasure’.

‘The “ultimate summer” narrative is everywhere right now,’ she tells Metro. ‘It’s on social media, in advertising, in casual conversation — and it creates a very real psychological pressure.

I remind myself that Instagram isn’t real-life, but when research from Skyscanner found that 43% of Gen Z travellers prioritise trips that will look good on social media, it’s hard to ignore.

I’m guilty of showing off my summer on my grid too. I love posting an aesthetic beach picture or an al fresco dinner.

But when I see these kinds of photos when I’m stuck in the office? I just feel even worse.

That niggling feeling that you might be wasting these warmer months has a name: sunshine guilt.

‘It tends to appear when we’re tired and, for that reason, choose to stay in, yet you can’t let go of the thought that we should have gone outside,’ psychologist Carolina Traverso tells Metro.

And as a 20-something in my ‘decade of freedom’, the guilt is even more palpable. After all, these are the years I’m supposed to find myself before I ‘settle down’. If I miss out on fun now, when else am I supposed to have it?

Deidre Bowen, from Mental Health UK, tells Metro this is common experience among my generation.

‘Young people in particular can struggle during the warmer months,’ she says. ‘They often feel a heightened pressure to be constantly out socialising compared to older generations. 

‘Many in their 20s will be familiar with putting off much needed rest and filling their calendars, often driven by a fear of missing out.

‘Social media can intensify these pressures, giving us the distorted idea that others have endless social energy and constantly busy, exciting lives.’

What we rarely see is the reality: the quiet evenings, sitting inside (hopefully in aircon) and ordinary moments that make up most people’s summers. And these things can fill your cup just as much as a rave in the sunshine.

Dr Olena adds: ‘Regardless of external pressures or whether the sun is shining, it is important to listen to the body.

‘Does the body call for rest, or for a change of pace? And if so, what kind of activity might feel genuinely restorative?

And so, after two heatwaves already this year, I’ve decided to try something different.

I’m soaking up the moments I do have, rather than worrying about the next plan. Being in my 20s, working a full-time job, trying to save money, navigating dating disasters, maintaining friendships and attempting to keep up with basic life admin, is difficult enough.

Some days will involve holidays, sunbathing, dinners with friends and nights out. Others will involve sitting in the garden with a Diet Coke and my dog.

Summer doesn’t need to be extraordinary to be meaningful.

1. Reduce the pressure
Despite what their social posts might tell you, not everyone is living their best summer and that’s OK. It’s important to remember social media is a highlights reel.

When you notice yourself feeling low for not having plans, ask yourself if you’re being fair, kind and reasonable. And if the answer’s no, reduce that pressure dial, pronto.

2. Do something you enjoy
If your diary isn’t full of festivals and BBQs it can feel like you’re doing something wrong.

Think about the things you really enjoy, and use summer as an excuse to get stuck into them. Summer’s the perfect time to get out there and explore, flying solo doesn’t have to be a bore.

3. Slow down
You don’t have to have a back-to-back packed diary of activities. There’s no right way to do summer. If it’s all feeling too much, take a step back. Remember you can say no.

The key is communication. Let people know as early as you can if you can’t make plans, or, even better, don’t agree to stuff that you’re not into or can’t commit to.

4. Look after yourself, whatever the weather
With record temperatures and a severe lack of aircon in the UK this summer can feel particularly challenging.

Remember to stay hydrated. If the weather’s affecting your mental health, talk to a GP.

5. You don’t have to spend loads
The pressure to spend can feel immense. One way to ease the mental strain is by figuring out a budget for the summer.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Your information will be used in line with our Privacy Policy