My boss is overbearing - she watches my screen and hovers over my every move

I have a new boss and I have no other way to describe her other than an irritating, overbearing, obsessive micromanager. I know I’m good at my job – as does everyone else on my team. I’m highly capable. I’ve been thrown into many crises and handled them.

But my boss is constantly craning her head around to look at my screen. I can feel her eyes burning a hole into the back of my head every five minutes. She hovers over my every move, wanting the minutes of every single meeting I’m in, including informal catch-ups she catches wind of. She constantly checks in, especially if I’m working from home, to the point where it feels like it’s the only way she can maintain some semblance of control. I think she’s drowning in the new role.

I honestly think she does it out of sheer inadequacy and a lack of confidence. She is constantly staying later and working on weekends and then will have the cheek to Slack me out of hours. Once, she even WhatsApped me at 7pm on a Friday. I ignored it because I was out, having an actual life. On Monday, when I walked in, she said: “Fun Friday? You must have been really busy!” I’m sorry, just because you have zero personal life, it doesn’t mean I have to, too?

Victoria McLean is the founder and CEO of Hanover Talent Solutions, an international careers consultancy. McLean is a qualified executive coach, award-winning CV writer and influential voice in the careers and leadership space.

Wow, I can hear the frustration in your voice, and it’s completely understandable. Micromanagement is a huge issue in the workplace and, unfortunately, most of us will have experienced some form of it. Research shows that nearly half (48 per cent) of people cite it as a top cause of job dissatisfaction, and it is the third highest catalyst for leaving a job.

There’s also no doubt that remote and flexible working has exacerbated this. Without being able to physically see you sitting at your desk tapping away on your keyboards, many managers resort to tactics such as constant meetings, status checks and now, unfortunately, even tracking software.

It’s so harmful for morale. Most people in that situation will feel undermined, unmotivated, and quite quickly it turns into resentment. My view is that if you want to stay in that role, this isn’t just something to be frustrated about; it’s something that has to be managed deliberately.

From my experience, I am guessing either your manager is under pressure and doesn’t feel in control, they’re new in their role and still trying to find their footing, or there’s a lack of trust somewhere in the relationship.

Studies have shown that around 82 per cent of workers entering management positions have not had any formal management and leadership training, resulting in a rise of what we call “accidental managers” – people promoted based on technical skills but who lack the crucial people skills.

As a result, many managers are ill-equipped and feel out of their depth. A lot of micromanagement is anxiety in disguise.

In the UK, one in three people are neglecting their mental health because they’re too busy at work. What you often see is managers holding on very tightly because they’re stretched, which leads to their employees feeling constantly stretched, too.

On your side, it’s very easy to move into a mindset of “this is unreasonable, this is unfair”, and to feel totally fed up. But staying in that state of mind is not helpful and doesn’t change the situation. If anything, it usually makes the relationship deteriorate faster.

Ultimately, it is a working relationship that isn’t functioning properly. And relationships don’t fix themselves – they drift when they are not actively and intentionally managed.

So the question becomes less, “How do I tolerate this?” and more: “How do I influence this dynamic?” From my experience, the people who handle this best tend to do two things.

First, they increase visibility of their activity and successes without being asked. Get ahead of the game with regular updates, clear communication and proactively showing progress. The more visible your work is, the less someone feels the need to check it constantly.

If your manager messages at 7pm on a Friday and you respond immediately every time, you’ve effectively set the expectation. You’re an enabler. Rather than one big pushback conversation, it’s about patterns of behaviour over time.

Set firm boundaries: i.e. let your boss know that you don’t work over the weekend or after 6pm and then stick to that by not responding over the weekend. Be consistent with this – the moment you break, you’re back to the beginning again.

This applies also to WhatsApp messages, emails and all out-of-hours communication. Why do you have Slack on your phone? Delete it if it’s not mandatory or required of you. Personally, as CEO, I work round the clock, so I work funny hours. I try really hard not to message my team out of hours and if I do, they all know that there is no need for them to respond. Your boss may be the same.

A pattern of micromanagement is rarely a small issue; it’s usually a signal of something deeper in the relationship.

In most cases, it can be improved before it gets to that point. And the people who do best are the ones who manage the dynamic most intelligently.

I am talking about managing upwards. Managing a difficult manager is a leadership skill and the employees who progress the fastest are often the ones who can do that well. To do this, you need to start to understand how your manager operates, so that you can adapt your approach in a way that makes the relationship work better.

So I’d be asking things like: what does this person actually need from me to feel comfortable? How do they like to be communicated with? What level of detail is helpful to them versus overwhelming?

The more you understand how your manager thinks, the easier it becomes to influence how they behave. In practice, that might look like agreeing upfront how you’ll work together. This can be done in your one-to-one.

You can ask questions such as: how often do you want updates? What level of detail do you want to see? Where do you actually need to be involved and when can I handle it? What pressure are you under? What are you worried about? And again, bookend these discussions with clear boundary setting and honesty.

Clarity and understanding often reduce micromanagement more effectively than confrontation. The people who do this well don’t just manage their workload; they manage expectations. They anticipate what their manager is going to worry about and address it before it becomes an issue. So if you know your manager is anxious about progress, show them progress proactively. If they’re worried about detail, give them structure. Basically, you are helping them feel comfortable about letting you do your job.

So yes, the frustration is valid. But if you want to stay and succeed in that role, it has to move from frustration to strategy. Think about it like this: this could be a real opportunity for you to actively shape your work relationships, set real boundaries that improve work-life balance, and raise your visibility across the team and business.