NS Christmas Quiz
These children since christened by Tony and Barrie.
When number-crunched by this “Red Adair of corporate trouble-shooting”.
After gaining sympathy with a display of chrome.
By the Department of Culture, Media and Sport.
He spent millennium year musing daily on Ephesians 1.
He pronounced particular always as “part-ic-lear”.
How they praised his shifting me, I, you and he/she.
Caused giggles and guffaws at the Royal Court.
Turned instead to exhibiting friends’ bedsit pain.
He topped himself one teatime in Chorley.
Might whack out more barrels in case stock markets fell.
Poignantly she caterwauled each Selmasong.
But cigars all-round, where he returned to abide.
But at home is a man who’ll don women’s knickers.
Match the quotes to the quotee. Choose from: Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs, Matthew Parris, Tony Blair, Paul McCartney, John Prescott, Stephen Fry, Helena Kennedy, Ken Livingstone, William Hague, Peter Tatchell, Uma Thurman, Brian Sewell
16 “Recently, when I was away for a few days, I got hold of a copy of the Koran. I read that. I’m fascinated by it.”
17 “I’m just not happy with the cutlery. It doesn’t have the correct weight.”
18 “I’ve been so lucky. I’m bound to get breast cancer tomorrow.”
19 “Personally, I just find the kind of ruthless submission to capitalism on every single level is distressing.”
20 “Hand out free skunk and the crime rate will plummet.”
22 “You don’t know me. I’m the first guy to hit the deck.”
24 “Nothing is more unfashionable than a fashion that’s gone out of fashion”
25 “Every time I see this Countryside Alliance and their contorted faces, I redouble my determination . . . “
26 “Thatcher, whatever one thinks, never intruded into the bedroom.”
27 “I am afraid one of the last things I do is pay my taxes and sort out my accounts.”
38 King’s College Hospital believes that it could fashion 250,000 square feet of Dermagraft artificial skin from cells in one foreskin.
39 Express publisher Richard Desmond is best friend to Jeremy Beadle.
40 PC Ian Sheeran of the Diplomatic Protection Squad changed Leo Blair’s nappy in a car outside Downing Street while his mother greeted General Sir Charles Guthrie.
41 Princess Diana’s favourite food, according to her private secretary, was cottage cheese on After Eight mints.
42 Matthew McConaughey will play Jonathan Aitken and Joely Richardson has auditioned as Carol Thatcher for Mainline Pictures’ Pride and Perjury.
43 Charles Saatchi paid £1,000,000 for Damien Hirst’s Hymn.
44 Three-quarters of an hour before filming Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? presenter Chris Tarrant dips his head for 15 seconds in a bucket of iced water.
45 The American group Exposing Satanism is lobbying for Harry Potter books to be boycotted.
Match each headline to its publication source. Select from: Daily Star, Daily Telegraph, Sun, Daily Mail, Daily Express, Guardian, Sunday Times, Observer, London Evening Standard, Independent