Seemingly innocent behaviors that count as cheating in romantic relationships: survey

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One in seven Americans (15%) who are married or in a relationship admit they have romantic feelings for someone who isn’t their partner, according to new research.

The survey of 2,000 Americans revealed that Gen Z Americans were the most likely generation to be smitten with a person outside their relationship (31%), with millennials close behind (21%).

Men surveyed were also more likely to admit this, with 19% saying they’ve got their eyes on a third party, compared to just 12% of women.

Conducted by Talker Research, the survey delved deeper into relationships and probed Americans on what is officially considered cheating in 2026.

The research revealed that getting physical with someone other than your partner is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to ways to cheat.

For 41% of Americans polled, keeping an ongoing flirtatious text conversation going with someone other than your partner is considered an unfaithful act.

Maintaining a dating app profile “just to look” or for validation (37%) was also top-ranked, as well as keeping someone in your phone under a fake name (37%), deleting messages so your partner doesn’t see them (36%), as well as secretly keeping in touch with an ex (36%).

Having a “work spouse” is also considered a fatal relationship breach for 33% of Americans, with 27% agreeing on a “Close Friends” Instagram list that doesn’t include their current partner.

However, recognizing cheating doesn’t mean respondents are always innocent of it themselves.

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According to the results, one in ten Americans admit they’re guilty of deleting messages so their partner doesn’t see, while eight percent have secretly met up with someone one-on-one.

Another eight percent have had a secret friendship their partner didn’t know about, and another eight percent have even kept ongoing flirtatious text conversations going with someone else.

Six percent of those polled also admit to keeping someone in their phone under a fake name so their partner couldn’t see who they were talking to.

“Most people do not wake up planning to test a boundary. It builds slowly, one small unmet need at a time,” says Kay Phongsan, Mindfulness Coach at Plant Medicine Thailand.

“Someone stops feeling seen at home, and a flirtatious text thread starts to feel like proof they still matter to somebody. I see this pattern often. They can often name exactly what they are missing, without having said it to their partner directly. The boundary-testing act becomes the workaround. That avoidance is the actual root, not the text thread itself.

“I had a client once who kept a years-old conversation going with someone from college, just steady late-night texting. Nearly four in ten people count this as cheating, yet the person doing it rarely names it that way to themselves. Instead of asking their partner for more attention, they quietly build a smaller relationship where that need already gets met.”

These small acts of micro-cheating aren’t the only reasons people walk away from a relationship, as the survey also uncovered some of the truly bizarre reasons people have called it quits in the past.

Eating pizza with a fork, having bad breath, and chewing cereal too loudly were all cited reasons Americans have ended things with a romantic interest.

One survey-taker reportedly broke up with somebody because they disagreed about whether pineapple belonged on a pizza.

Another ended a relationship over the way their partner smacked their gum, and a different respondent cited “their new haircut” as the final straw.

According to Dr. Sal Raichbach, PsyD, LCSW, CFSW, Chief Clinical Officer at The Haven Detox Group, there is something more complex happening.

“The stated reason for terminating a relationship may not accurately reflect why the relationship actually ended,” said Raichbach.

“In many cases, the ‘small’ issue becomes symbolic of a much deeper incompatibility – differences in etiquette, values, lifestyle, attraction, or perceived respect for one another. At times the actual trigger that prompts the termination of a relationship is indeed the ‘odd reason.’ The actual reason for ending the relationship was due to dissatisfaction beneath that specific behavior.”

2. They left a $1.00 tip after an expensive meal out.

3. I didn’t like the way they chewed gum.

7. Because they didn’t like the color red.

8. He would never eat fresh vegetables. Only canned.

9. We disagreed on whether pineapple belonged on pizza.

Talker Research surveyed 2,000 general population Americans; the survey was administered and conducted online by Talker Research between July 1 and July 6, 2026.